but in my saner moments, these days, I see I’m a bad Christian, bad follower of Jesus. I follow MYSELF, not Jesus. I lean on my OWN understanding, am wise in my OWN eyes. I do not ASK Him about everything and THANK Him about everything, because I don’t need to. Whyzat? Because I’m confident-I-know-what’s-best. What’s thankable and what’s not. Confident-I-know-what-will-make-me-happy. Pride, not humility. Bad Christian, not good.
Grace is for bad Christians, flows downhill to bad Christians who know we are bad Christians. Only bad Christians benefit from the forgiveness and love of Jesus. Jesus has nothing to offer good Christians. He who has a sense of having been forgiven little, loves little: loves others little, self little, Jesus little, Jesus-crafted circumstances little.
–ShepherdDave, who only sees himself as a bad Christian when he’s been freshly convicted of the sin of independence/confidence-he-knows-what’s-best/being-dissatisfied-with-Jesus-and-His-imputed-righteousness, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, enjoying the bliss of Jesus-dependency/humility/happiness, so the nonbelievers around him might experience Jesus
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