Why do I dislike my addictions?
Because I wanna feel good about myself. My idols/addictions expose to me, and others, how dysfunctional I am, and that makes me feel like a loser/failure/nobody. Sure, Jesus loves me just as I am, but do I love me just as I am? No, my love for me is conditional. Pride. When I perform up to expectations, so I feel good about myself, only then do I love me. But conditional love is no love at all. Cruel. Even in success, I feel pressure for the NEXT challenge/opportunity. Because I’m unsatisfied with Jesus and His imputed worthiness. I want some of my own. Worldliness.
–ShepherdDave, needing to be humbled/convicted by Jesus’ Spirit, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, experiencing the bliss of Jesus-dependency, abundant LIFE, with a healthy indifference to what others think, or what he thinks about himself, so the pre-believers around him might want what he has
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