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  • Writer's pictureweakdave
    • Mar 31, 2015
    • 1 min read

Why do I dislike my addictions?

Because I wanna feel good about myself.  My idols/addictions expose to me, and others, how dysfunctional I am, and that makes me feel like a loser/failure/nobody.  Sure, Jesus loves me just as I am, but do I love me just as I am?  No, my love for me is conditional.  Pride.  When I perform up to expectations, so I feel good about myself, only then do I love me.  But conditional love is no love at all.  Cruel.  Even in success, I feel pressure for the NEXT challenge/opportunity.  Because I’m unsatisfied with Jesus and His imputed worthiness.  I want some of my own.  Worldliness.

–ShepherdDave, needing to be humbled/convicted by Jesus’ Spirit, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, experiencing the bliss of Jesus-dependency, abundant LIFE, with a healthy indifference to what others think, or what he thinks about himself, so the pre-believers around him might want what he has

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