Why aren’t I giddily grateful,

for all I have in Jesus?  Because I find Him and His imputed worthiness unsatisfying.  I want MORE than what He offers me.  I want better circumstances, wannabe a better follower of Him, wannabe more fruitful with the lost, wannabe grateful for all I have in Him.  Whyzat?  Because I don’t like me just as I am, because of my food, chemical and electromagnetic-field sensitivities that make me feel awful much of the time, don’t like my harrrd circumstances just as they are, don’t like my country just as it is, so self-righteously divided politically, don’t like the Church just as it is, so sick and impotent.  I don’t like this plan of Jesus, don’t like the Grand Story He’s written and executing.  I think I know better how things should be going in my life and in others’ lives.  My confidence-that-I-know-best is what keeps me from being giddily grateful, keeps me from being content with all I have in Jesus.

–ShepherdDave, who only sees the problem when he’s been freshly convicted of being unsatisfied with Jesus and His imputed worthiness, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, enjoying the bliss and contentment of Jesus-dependency/humility/cluelessness-he-knows-what’s-best, so the nonbelievers and believers around him might experience Jesus

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