I never believe in Jesus’ sovereignty. Or when I’m fearful. Or discouraged. I don’t believe it’s UP TO HIM. It’s up to ME. Like the Pharisees, I live in denial of how much I have to lose, by giving up everything in my life to follow Him, especially the righteousness/reputation/somebodiness I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I’m unwilling to be a failure/loser/nobody in any area of my life. So I’m impatient, competitive, critical. Dave vs everyone. I just haven’t seen it so clearly in the past. Sobering.
UNLIKE the Pharisees, I confess Jesus as Sovereign, as Lord, but in daily life, I’m just like them. The lord of my life is ME.
–ShepherdDave, who only believes in Jesus’ sovereignty when he’s been freshly convicted of his unbelief, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, curious and expectant to see what his SovereignShepherdJesus does next, in him, others, circumstances, enjoying the bliss of Jesus-dependency/Jesus-contentment/Jesus-humility, so the nonbelievers around him might experience the other-worldly humility and other-worldly-love of Jesus
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