The root of all that makes my life harrrd,

stressful, unpeaceful, is the confidence I have, that I know what will make me happy.  Or happIER.  Where does this confidence originate?  In the pit of Hell.  Wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding.  Independent, not Jesus-dependent.  Proud, not humble.  Death, not LIFE.

I’m not content with Jesus and His imputed worthiness, so I’m always imagining what will improve my life, just a bit, or maybe a lot.  Not home improvement, but “life improvement”.  Improved ministry, house, car, vacation, entertainment, health, something, anything.  Or improved life for our kids, grandkids.  I know what will make them happIER.

So The biggest need I have each day, is to have my confidence shattered – to have the illusion that I know-what’s-best, destroyed by the convicting work of the Holy Spirit, so I’m momentarily clueless-I-know-what-will-make-me-happy.  Or happIER.  Or anyone else.  Ahhh.

Impossible to be an independent – a control-freak experiencing death, unless I’m confident-I-know-best.

–ShepherdDave, who forgets so quickly, needs the convicting work of the Spirit so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, contented enjoyer of others and himself, just as we are, and his ShepherdJesus’ genius plan for everyone, just as it is, experiencing LIFE, because he’s so utterly captivated by his ShepherdJesus, so the nonbelievers around him might experience the other-worldly humility and other-worldly love of Jesus

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