weakdave
The pressure I feel before
making a big decision, comes from my desire to NEVER have any regrets, NEVER be criticized by others OR myself, so I feel WORTHY. Pride, not humility. I've lived with this pressure 24/7 all my life, but haven't been self-aware ENOUGH to recognize it previously. Seemed normal. Unbelievably peaceful when the Spirit enables me to realize Jesus is Lord, not Dave, and that He will lead me to the BEST decision, according to His genius plan. Ahhh. I'm not alone, not in charge. The future is up to Him, not Dave. Ahhh. Blissful, agendaless living.
I LOVE being a spectator/observer, rather than the player, performer, prover, competitor I've been all my life, and I still move in that human-wisdom direction except for those times when the Spirit opens my eyes to SEE that I've gone off the rails and am back in the land of misery, just like all the other atheists around me, both nonChristian and Christian.
No wonder the seculars around us are so indifferent to the Jesus in us.
-- Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships
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