Thank You, Jesus, for your total sovereignty
over everything and everyone. So helpful when You give me grace to believe Your sovereignty afresh, because if You are not, it’s UP TO ME. I don’t like the pressure of UP TO ME. Independency is scary, stressful, makes me hurry, intense, failure-avoidant, pain-avoidant, suffering-avoidant, orphanlike, so I’ve got to succeed, with the weight of the world on my shoulders, weighing me down, motivating me to seek relief from my misery though idolatrous pursuits, to distract me from the pain of living in this Cursed world as an orphan/independent/confident-I-know-what’s-best, suppressing the scary, the stress, trying to focus on the positive, ignore the negative, or at least minimize the negative. Too much. Too scary. Dowanna think about all that could go wrong. Up to me.
–ShepherdDave, needing fresh conviction of the sin of confidence-he-knows-what’s-best, and the sin of unbelief in the sovereignty of Jesus, so he might momentarily be DumbSheepDave, enjoying the bliss of Jesus-dependency/humility/clulessness-about-what’s-best, so the pre-believers around him might experience the other-worldly humility and other-worldly love of Jesus
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