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  • Writer's pictureweakdave

Shocker: I’m the unmerciful servant.

I who have received amazing grace, have not extended amazing grace to others, not even grace.  I’m not a grace-giver but a grace-robber – robbing others of grace by obsessing over their flaws, as a strategy to feel superior to them, so I feel good about ME.  I’m stunned, sobered, contrite, at such a huge glimpse into the darkness within me that I have emotionally preferred to ignore, deny.  I have desperately wanted to believe I’m better than I am.  One of the good guys.  And.  Outwardly, I am a very-gracious person.  But.  Evidently I’ma poser.  Because inwardly, I never cease judging.  The Gospel is not good news to the self-deceived.  At least, not initially.  The superiority I’ve felt toward others all my life, is filthy rags.  Illusion.  I’m not superior to anyone, because my motives have been so corrupt.  But I’ve desperately wanted to believe I’m superior, so I’ve spent every waking hour of every day of my adult life, searching for weaknesses in others.  So I can feel good about ME.

–JudgeDave, feeling ready to step down from his bench, and become a regular Joe, average guy, merciful servant, who needs Jesus more than he ever realized

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