One benefit of becoming more self-aware,

is becoming more aware of idols/addictions in my life, getting new, large glimpses of their pervasiveness that I’ve seen only dimly, compared to what I see now.  For example, my idol of efficiency runs everywhere throughout my day, I can now see.  Efficiency has seemed a noble thing to me — good stewardship.  But efficiency-addiction is a prison I’ve lived in all my life.  But blind to it, suppressing my weirdness/dysfunction.  As Jesus has been growing me in self-awareness and self-acceptance, in other words growing me more humble/dependent, less proud/independent, I’m finding my efficiency-idol losing its grip on my life.  I’m not delivered at this point, but it’s happening.  Baby steps.

What does faith/repentance/dependency look like for an efficiency-addict?   Being liberated about maximal efficiency in any given situation.  My flesh still wants ultimate efficiency, perfect efficiency, and in the past I would anguish over which route, strategy, would be most efficient.  Now, not so much.  I’m worshiping efficiency less.  My flesh is losing its power over my life.  Ahhh.

–DumbSheepDave, amazed like never before, in his saner moments, when the Shepherd’s Spirit has freshly convicted him of the sin of independence, hoping the pre-believers around him are noticing the difference over the past year

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