frustrated, or discouraged, when I believe God is totally sovereign. Impossible to be pride-filled — feel like a failure or a success, when I believe God is totally sovereign. Ahhh, the healthy-indifference, the bliss, of being DumbSheepDave.
But when I’m ShepherdDave, I NEVER believe God is totally sovereign. I only believe He’s sovereign when I’m DumbSheepDave — when I’ve been freshly convicted of my unbelief in His sovereignty — convicted of feeling all alone, that my life is UP TO ME.
ShepherdDave CLAIMS to believe in the sovereignty of God, but it’s mere theory, a sham, fraudulent, because he lives as though it’s UP TO DAVE. Intense, agendafied, willful, stressed. Feeling unrelenting pressure to be worthy, choose right, be right, all day long. ShepherdDave lives in bigtime denial of who he really is — a nonbeliever in God’s sovereignty, and in the imputed worthiness of Jesus. Left to his own devices. Choices. Scripture does not inform reality, but eyesight.
Only DumbSheepDave, who is clueless-he-knows-what’s-best, so asks for direction, believes in God’s sovereignty. Only DumbSheepDave is thankful for everything just as it is. ShepherdDave, independent/confident-he-knows-what’s-best — what’s thankable and not, imagines he believes in God’s sovereignty, but is bigtime self-deceived, is never curious and expectant to see what Jesus does NEXT, in Dave, others, circumstances, because his life is UP TO DAVE. Idolatry/addiction is central to the daily life of ShepherdDave, because the sovereignty of God is not central to his daily life. So Jesus is not ENOUGH. An idolator/addict like ShepherdDave only experiences the peace that passes understanding, when freshly convicted of his unbelief. His confidence-he-knows-what’s-best — his unbelief in Jesus’ sovereignty, ruins his happiness as a believer. Though he unconsciously suppresses his unhappiness, unable to bear being so pathetic.
—ShepherdDave/AddictDave, needing fresh conviction by the Spirit, of unbelief in Jesus and His sovereign reign, so he might momentarily be DumbSheepDave, enjoying the bliss of Jesus-dependency/Jesus-contentment/Jesus-humility, so the nonbelievers around him might experience the other-worldly humility and other-worldly love of Jesus
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