I’ve been trying to be happier

all my life, I now realize.  I have never thought of myself as a malcontent, but I think I’ve always been trying to be happier.  Better car, next car, better house with an awesome view, or out west, better health, better wealth, better follower of Jesus.  So I could be happier.  I’ve evidently had this longing all my life, this feeling of less-than, causing me to want MORE, better, different from what I have, better than what I’m offered in Jesus.  I’m emotionally unhealed, dysfunctional, discontent with all I have in Jesus, discontent with me, discontent with others, discontent with life itself.  And I thought I was happy.  Bigtime self-deceived.  Happier-addict.

“He who chases fantasies lacks judgment.”  Prov 12:11  The fantasies of a better life, happier life.  Idols.  Idols/addictions that distract me from enjoying Jesus, and His genius plan for my life, and distract me from enjoying myself just as I am, and others just as they are, even jerks and enemies.

Impossible to chase fantasies, unless I’m confident-I-know-what’s-best.  The sin of independence.  “The way of a fool seems right to him.”  Prov 12:15

–ShepherdDave, confident-he-knows-what’s-best, unless he’s been freshly convicted of this sin, so he’s momentarily DumbSheepDave, captivated by his ShepherdJesus, enjoying the bliss of Jesus-contentment/Jesus-dependency/humility/cluelessness-he-knows-what’s-best, so the nonbelievers around him might experience the other-worldly humility and other-worldly love of Jesus

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