I’m too weak to live without

awareness of Jesus’ sovereignty. I’m way-too self-aware now, way-too in touch with my feelings, leaving me way-too sensitive to the scary uncertainty of relying on myself, my human-wisdom, my human-power. I desperately need reminding every day, all day, of Jesus’ total sovereignty over ever detail of my life. I’m not STRONGer than I usedtabe, but WEAKer, more pathetically dependent on Him and His-wisdom. Embarrassingly so.

But.

I’m happier, more content, more at peace, more patient, than I’ve been my whole entire life. Being strong/adultlike is a CURSE for me. I can’t handle feeling ALONE and in CHARGE. I handled it for decades. No more. Wish I could. Well, my human-wisdom wishes I could. My human-wisdom wants me STRONG. I’m such a disappointment to my human-wisdom. But not to Jesus. Because of HIS performance, not mine.

— NeedyDave, who has been dragged along kicking and screaming and resisting, throughout this retraining process of Jesus

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