I’m thankful to be such a mess,
so dysfunctional, such a failure at following Jesus. Whyzat? If I were obedient, His salvation and His imputed worthiness would mean little to me, because, “He who has been forgiven little, loves little.” When I only feel forgiven a little, I conditionally love/enjoy Jesus (when He blesses my agenda), conditionally love/enjoy Jesus’ plan for my life (when it goes as I want), conditionally love/enjoy others (especially my enemies), and conditionally love/enjoy myself (when I perform well, think I’ve obeyed). The most-gracious thing He ever does for me is to freshly convict me of the sin of independence/pride (which seems like minor disobedience but is actually big-time disobedience), so I’m freshly content with Him and His imputed worthiness, needing none of my own, free to be a failure/loser/disobedient with zero self-contempt. Only the freshly humble have zero self-contempt when they fail.
–DumbSheepDave, experiencing amazing peace like never before, as his eyes are opened more and more to his dysfunction/disobedience/pride/neediness, so he’s more and more content with ShepherdJesus’ worthiness, hoping the pre-believers around him are noticing the difference his Shepherd has been making over the past year
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