I’m always obsessed with my own performance

and appearance, when I’m indifferent to Jesus.  Same response the Pharisees had to Jesus.  PhariseeDave, outwardly appearing strong, together, worthy, to others.  And to self.  Blind to what’s going on inside.  But PhariseeDave is becoming more and more aware that his worthiness-addiction has been inordinately fueled by suppressed childhood feelings of worthlessness, causing a lifetime of always proving himself worthy to himself and others, dissatisfied with the imputed worthiness of Jesus.

The yoke of worthiness-addiction is oppressive, exhausting, while the yoke of Jesus is delightfully easy, makes living in this Cursed world, surprisingly easy.  No wonder I’ve found it so difficult to function as a Jesus-dependent in the 46 years I’ve been a believer, and even in the last 28 years of being a grace-junkie.  And no wonder pre-believers have been bored by the Jesus in Dave, the Dave who has been as circumstance-dependent for his joy and peace as any other human.

–DumbSheepDave, more than ever, enjoying Jesus, others, himself, circumstances, just as they are, because folks have been praying

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