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I LOVE spectating,

because that's when I'm the happiest -- curious/expectant to see what Jesus does NEXT in me, others, circumstances. Peaceful. Content. Healthy-indifference to outcomes. I HATE being a gladiator on the field of battle -- judge of everyone and everything -- especially DAVE, under enormous pressure to perform, competitor to everyone, determined to feel superior in some way, shape or form. Spectators/observers are never needy, never fans. Only gladiators NEED things going our way. Spectators/observers are like a humble four-year old -- relaxed, taking in everything, knowing Mom or Dad is in charge. Maybe curious about outcomes, but liberated about the success/failure of others OR THEMSELVES. And free to love others well. Gladiators are adultlikes, under enormous pressure with the weight of the world on our shoulders, self-absorbed, circumstance-dependent for our joy and peace, which doesn't last long. Uncompelling to seculars.

The nicest, kindest, sweetest thing Jesus ever does for me, is to freshly EXPOSE to me, my gladiating, so I can CONFESS and be returned momentarily to spectating. Ahhh.

-- Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships

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