I have a deep need to feel superior

to everyone.  How do I know?  Because I get so much life from being the critic of everyone and every human creation, the self-appointed judge of all.  Excellent, poor, mediocre.  Of course, many who don’t know me well think I’m a humble man, and me thinks of me as a humble man, but that’s part of my knee-jerk image management, to others and to me.  As a follower of Jesus in His Upside-down Kingdom, I know it’s wrong to need superior, so I evidently suppress my neediness/dysfunction/idolatry/addiction/pride/worldliness.

But as Jesus has been growing me over the past three years to be more self-aware and more self-accepting, it’s becoming obvious to me, that I’m much worse than I ever imagined.  And.  That His unconditional love for me, just as I am, is way greater than I ever dreamed.  And.  That my pride/independence/worldliness moves me to suppress, while the Spirit continues to expose.  So I can confess.  So I can freshly enjoy me, just as I am, and others just as they are, and His genius plan for my life, just as it is.  Ahhh.

–DumbSheepDave, more in awe of his Shepherd than ever – sometimes, wondering if the pre-believers around him are noticing any difference in 2014

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