I have a deep need to feel superior
to everyone. How do I know? Because I get so much life from being the critic of everyone and every human creation, the self-appointed judge of all. Excellent, poor, mediocre. Of course, many who don’t know me well think I’m a humble man, and me thinks of me as a humble man, but that’s part of my knee-jerk image management, to others and to me. As a follower of Jesus in His Upside-down Kingdom, I know it’s wrong to need superior, so I evidently suppress my neediness/dysfunction/idolatry/addiction/pride/worldliness.
But as Jesus has been growing me over the past three years to be more self-aware and more self-accepting, it’s becoming obvious to me, that I’m much worse than I ever imagined. And. That His unconditional love for me, just as I am, is way greater than I ever dreamed. And. That my pride/independence/worldliness moves me to suppress, while the Spirit continues to expose. So I can confess. So I can freshly enjoy me, just as I am, and others just as they are, and His genius plan for my life, just as it is. Ahhh.
–DumbSheepDave, more in awe of his Shepherd than ever – sometimes, wondering if the pre-believers around him are noticing any difference in 2014
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