weakdave
How can I enjoy the real me,
just as I am, the great example of a bad example of a Jesus-follower? I’m not a humble, meek, childlike, Jesus-dependent who is clueless-he-knows-what’s-best for himself and others, so he’s enjoying others, self, Jesus, and His genius plan for every detail of our lives. Why do I struggle to enjoy the real me? Why do I want so badly to be better, love Jesus more, love others more, love myself more?
Because I selfishly wanna feel good about myself. Because I’m tired of being a failure at following/imitating Him, submitting my everything to Him. I’m so UNsatisfied with Jesus and His imputed righteousness. I’m tired of failure. I wanna feel good about myself TODAY.
So how can I enjoy the real me? Only by His Spirit freshly convicting me over and over of my pride that’s so hard for me to see. Takes time. I wannabe able to enjoy the real me TODAY, but I’m finding it a long process, and my impatience with the process simply exposes the real me — the unsatisfied-with-Jesus-and-His-imputed-righteousness me. And so I confess again. And thank Him again, that He’s made me such a great example of a bad example, so any changes in me might bring Him great glory. And the nonbelievers around me might be wowed by the Changer.
—DumbSheepDave, more willing than ever for the process to be slower than ShepherdDave would like
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